She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
