I just pynch a tree in the face
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize