Well douche your snatch and let's go!
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
