He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
