Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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