the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
40s are totally the cure
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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