4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
