I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
