i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
