vagina is talking i cant
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
