There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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