I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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