I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
