Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize