I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
