Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
