This is not my ceiling
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
