Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
