It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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