If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
