New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
