singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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