the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
