I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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