did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
