I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i think my mom watched the whole time
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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