what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
