she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
