The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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