The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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