Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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