the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
