So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
