You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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