their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
