it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I will be naked everywhere
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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