it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
