your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I am available for nakedness
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
