Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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