Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
