Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize