Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm too high and old for this...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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