You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
