if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
