I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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