never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Is Oprah even human
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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