Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
