he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
