I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
too bad you live with your parents still
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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