I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
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