i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
