They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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