i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
