Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
