soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
