i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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