She's JV to your varsity
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She told me I should be a condom model.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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