I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize