she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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