why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
