Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
