Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
