also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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