if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize