i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
