YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
