So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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