I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
