Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
