How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
